If at first you don’t succeed…

Ran my final tri of the season yesterday. The swim went a little better but I still panicked a bit – I was able to calm myself down and actually finished with a good time out of the water. I’m thinking it’s going to take a couple more times in open water with a crowd to get my composure back. That feeling of drowning (see my Lorain tri post) is a hard one to get over.

But – I didn’t want to end my season on the downer that the Lorain tri turned into so I found another race – this one down in Akron which I figured would be a nice little event to finish the year off.

Well, when we got there we found out that this race was the culminating event of a championship series that had been going on all summer. This was the biggest triathlon I have ever competed in. The swim was the longest that I had done this year in a race – the bike course was the hilliest as was the run.

In the end though – I did manage to grab third place in my division – so still no first place finishes, but as any Cleveland sports fan knows – there’s always next year!

Look at all the egg heads!

The water temp in the low seventies was higher than the air’s which was somewhere in the 60s

Smiling for the camera - (sara’s taking the pics)

Passing someone ten years younger than me right at the finish (ages are magic markered on the backs of our calves)

Suzi met a fox terrier who looked just like her minus the fur coat.

Tri not to drown next time!

Ran the Lorain tri today – I came in second in this race last year so I had pretty high hopes for this one considering the time and effort I have been putting in this summer. Whenever I am talking to someone about running these races almost invariably they say - “I could do the run and bike but I don’t know about the swim.’ To which I reply, “The important part about the swim is not to drown.”

Well – today I drowned. As I was moving up through the pack of swimmers I took a foot squarely to the face and then was subsequently dunked under as I was paused in pain. My heart raced and I never did get my composure back I even contemplated throwing in the towel (or asking for one) and calling it a day. Fortunately I was able to grab a rock on a nearby break wall and catch my breath a bit – but my time was shot. (you can see me disappointedly checking it as i finally get out of the water above.) Usually I build my lead on the swim and bike portion but I ended up over four minutes behind my swim time of last year. Sara said she knew something was up when I didn’t pop out from behind the break wall when she expected me. There’s no panic like the panic of oxygen deprivation.

I got my feces collected during the bike portion and had a really great ride. Got in with a pack traveling 20-21 mph it was so much fun I didn’t even mind the rain or the water streams that were spun into my face from the tires in front of me. We were flying along as a group taking turns chasing down the folks in front of us and chatting along the way.

The run was as good as I could expect – I’ve got my mile time down to around 8:30 and i don’t think it is going to go any lower. I ran with my iPod listening to the Beastie Boys, Rob Zombie, Motorhead, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Yep, I ran a pretty god race minus that drowning part – SOOOOO – I can’t end the season on such a downer. I signed up for one more race to be run on Sept. 13. Not only do they have a Clydesdale division (200+lb)– but they even have an over 40 Clydesdale division. Now if they would add an over 40, Clydesdales who also are published poets division…

UPDATE: Turns out I took 4th place this year. If I had matched my swim time from last year I would have taken 2nd again behind the same guy (20 years younger than me.)

pics by sara

Who let all these fast people into the race?

Ran the Cleveland Triathlon This morning – it was drizzly and windy. This is the one big race I’ve run the past couple years.

Last year I came in fourth in my division – the Clydesdale division for men 200+ lbs. So, since I’ve been training pretty hard this year I thought I might have a shot at a podium position.

Well it turns out this year the race has been sanctioned by the USAT – the governing body of all things triathlon in the United States. An opportunity for folks to garner points enabling them to participate in other invitational races with the final goal being some sort of national title or something.

Needless to say this brought out a whole new level of competitors out. I came in 8th this year – but I improved my time by almost three minutes. A time good enough to have won the division last year - not so this year.

In a couple weeks I’ll be running one more race – one that I placed second in last year. I am hoping for some success – but I’m not making any bets.

update: Final standings are up and I actually came in 7th out of 28 competitors in my division - last year I came in 4th with a dozen participants so I think I made some forward progress - I do know my legs still hurt.

pics by sara

Tri Tri Again

“Why would people want to get up so early and do this?”

Completed my first triathlon of the season yesterday morning. I managed to post a personal best time of 1:17 and a little change. The weather was perfect – low seventies – the lake as still as coffee in cup – the bike course was a bit windy but I wedged in with a group traveling along at a decent clip (technically there is no drafting allowed in a tri – but that’s a dumb rule anyways) and the run ended with a downhill slope for almost the the whole second half of the course.

Early on in my triathlon participation I would edge myself to the front of the pack before the start of the swim and would find myself being crawled over by the guys behind me once we got underway – slamming my face underwater just as I was coming up for air – brushing against my legs as if I were being chased by the creature from the black lagoon. This would send me into panic – get my heart racing – I switched strategies last year during the Cleveland Tri – moved to the back and I became the person climbing up the backs of folks in front of me. Made it out of the water in the top five or so today – even catching up to the group of younger guys whose wave started five minutes earlier before us geriatrics.

The first half of the bike leg I was pretty much on my own – I could see some riders in front of me but there was no way I was catching them anytime soon and the riders behind weren’t gaining on me so I spent those six and a half miles pedaling away trying to find the silver lining related to having thighs that felt like they were going to split open. I kept grinding along around 21+ mph which is a good clip for me so I figured I had a wind at my back and wasn’t really looking forward to the turn around. Then right at the turn around a pack of eight riders came up on me and passed – i slid into their slipstream and we pulled each other along into the headwind way quicker than any of us could have managed on our own. Like I said – technically not kosher but I still think it’s a stupid rule – what’s more sportsmanlike than a crew of competitors working together? In any case I finished the leg in (for me) record time.

In order to keep up with the crew on the second part of the bike ride I had to push near my limit spending a lot of time down in aero bars – those are those things added to handlebars so that your elbows rest on the crossbar keeping your riding stance extra low and more wind resistant. It also does a number on your back – so when I got off the bike I found it pretty tricky straightening up to do the run. My two thousand year old man impersonation wasn't wasted on my fans who included my parents Sara, Max, Frank, Scotty baby Sara and Isaac a friend of Frank’s responsible for the quote that opened this blog.

Fortunately after about an eight of a mile my joints self lubricated and i finished the race with a smile on my face. I told Frank - afterwards as he helped me gather my gear that it has taken three years – but running these things have gone from a test of survival to fun.

So I guess that’s why people get up so early in the morning to do this – for fun.

First Triathlon of the Year

Okay,

Sunday is my first tri of the year. We’ll see if all this running I have been doing is going to pay off.

This is a good race to start with as they do not have a Clydesdale division so there is no way on god’s gray earth that I even have to consider placing.

Next Sunday at the Cleveland Triathlon I am hoping to come in the top three of the big boy’s division – we’ll see

26,400 feet - but who's counting?

This year my preparations for triathlon season have been as much an exercise in pain management as it has been training. My first tri is this coming Sunday in beautiful Fairport Ohio. Those of you who have followed this blog for any length of time know that my least favorite portion of these races is the running part – I lumber down the road pretty much as if I were dragging a studded snow tire attached to my waist via a twelve foot length of swing set chain. So I have paid particular attention to this portion of the contest this year and even entered a handful of races – including the Cleveland Marathon.


Okay, here’s a little aside – back when I was growing we had Great Danes. One of the males used to run away every time a certain female dog that lived over the hill would come into heat. My mom or dad decided to attach a tire, complete with metal wheel hub still embedded in the center, with a length of chain to this canine Romeo. The set up didn’t keep him in his yard but it did provide a nice path in the snow with which to track him by. The swath cut through leafless blackberry bushes, under split rail fencing and across chilly ponds. Such is the power of puppy love.

Needless to say (ever notice the caveat “needless to say” never stops a person from making whatever the unnecessary comment is? Needless to say – my performances haven’t equaled that of a love struck Great Dane – but I did beat the goal of cracking into the eight minute mile pace in this past Sunday’s five mile Johnnycake Jog. The race runs past my parent’s house – the starting line for that Great Dane – and they and Sara cheered me and my son Franklin on and snapped these pics.

Franklin moving along a whole lot quicker than his dad.

Please Don't Kill Me

Okay,

I signed up for a trio of triathlons this year (with a fourth in Connecticut possible depending on what funds look like at the end of the summer.) My big race this year is going to be the Cleveland Triathlon again. I liked the race last year. It’s fun being downtown with so many folks, over a thousand participants are expected. I’m also running the Fairport Tri – it’s close to home and affordable and then I’ll be doing the Lorain Tri where I placed second in my division last year (my division being that of Clydesdale – competitors weighing over 200 pounds.)

All the running I did in order to run the Cleveland Half Marathon has laid a pretty good base endurance-wise now I need to get my bicycle legs and swim back up to speed. Frankie and I chopped down a tree for my parent’s yesterday and on the way home we passed a half dozen or so cyclist. The number of people on bikes on the side of the road seems to be increasing each year. I’m sure some of this phenomenon can be attributed to the fact that I ride and am more aware of others out there on two wheels – but I’d be willing to bet that the number of folks out there pounding pedals has increased.

So people – please remember to share the road. By law that spandex wearing cyclist has every bit of right to be on the road as those behind their two tons of glass and steel. In fact it is illegal for a cyclist to ride o the sidewalk in most instances. A little common sense comes into play here – when on my townie bike going to the grocery or something I will take to the sidewalk since I am going to be travelling under ten miles an hour for the most part and can make adjustments for pedestrians – on the other hand if I am on my racer pushing twenty five mph – I would be a menace to walkers.

Like any subset of humanity there are idiot cyclists out there but for the most part we have a vested interest in staying alive. To whit I would like to offer a few tips to drivers out there. Firstly, relax. The extra fifteen to thirty seconds your trip will take you to safely pass the guy or gal on the bicycle up there is not going to alter the trajectory of your life a whole hell of a lot. As soon as it is safe to do so pass safely and quickly – prolonging your time behind the rider only prolongs the time that something could go wrong.

Let’s see - you don’t need to beep your horn – we know you’re back there, shouting out your window trying to scare a rider is just stupid – especially when I just might be catching up to you at the next light – fair warning I WILL squirt you with my water bottle. . Oh, this is important, watch your right hand turns – that cyclist you just passed didn’t disappear into the ether because you overtook them – they’re still back there moving forward. I’ve been run off the road a half dozen times in the last three years by people making right hand turns. Every time, I was in a designated bike lane.

So that’s it – keep your eyes open. Even if you raise your awareness to bicyclist by five percent it’ll make a difference ‘cause any of us out there two wheeling it with any sense are spending one hundred percent of our time watching out for you.

Got Platelets?

Those who know me and my triathlon habit know that the part of the race I loathe is the run. I’d be much better ending a race moving large rocks or chopping down a tree than running any distance. 200 to 205 pounds is a bit of a load to rumble down the road with.

So what am I doing this year? I’m training to run a half marathon in May. I still plan on doing three or four Tris this year but this Cleveland Marathon is special. I’ll be running as part of Team Stephanie in honor of Stephanie Lufkin – our granddaughter who we lost last May to complications associated with the blood disorder ITP.

I joined team ITP as a memorial to Stephie and I’ll be wearing this gear during all my races until it is threadbare. Take a couple minutes and check out Stephie’s page. Then if you’d like feel free to become one of my sponsors.

Third time is the charm.

Ran my third and final triathlon for the season and I got a medal!

Came in second in my division today - lost first by less than 25 seconds so I still have a goal next season. I think I might run a couple 5ks before the snow flies and my son Max is trying to get me to run a half marathon in October which I just may take him up on.

Not too shabby for a guy who was smoking 3 packs a cigarettes a day five years ago.

I think that's me.

Out of the water and onto the bike...

Off the bike and into my running shoes - I hit these transitions pretty good today - I've gotten so anal that I now have elastic shoe laces that don't have to be tied, i just slip my shoes on and take off.

As I was coming in from the run I looked behind me and saw a runner about twenty five yards back - he shouted to me "I'm not in your class" meaning I needn't worry about him because he was in a different division - I thought he said "I'm on your ass" so I sprinted the last eighth of a mile or so - nearly blowing out my jugular vein.

Who knows what is in the future for our hero?

pics by Sara

Tri me

Did another tri today. This was my big one for the year – the Cleveland City Triathlon. Big means high tech timing chips - lots of support people around and a higher price tag to enter.

I revamped my approach this time – decided to start off toward the back of the pack in the swim. The last couple races I have started near the front getting out quick, and then getting swum over by folks passing from behind. This can really mess one up. And I have ended up choking and coughing up Lake Erie H2O from my lungs.


Well, the strategy worked – this time I ended up being the guy who was swimming over top of people. A much better position. Landed me in second place of my division (Clydesdale - men 200+ lb.) when I got out of the water.


I held my own on the bike ride as well even though the wind was formidable. After the bike portion I was in third place – on my way to my first triathlon medal! I rode this portion of the race next to a cardialogist ten years my junior. Good plan on my part just in case I was in need of any emergency attention.


Alas, it was not to be. One rat bastard managed to pass me during the run portion. Your intrepid poet/triathlete came in 4th place. Just out of the medals. So close! They hadn’t posted the run times yet when I first looked at the standings which had me in third – so I waited the half hour for the update to have my spirits crushed.


Even so, it was good race and I have at least one more chance this season to finish in the hardware.

Reading and weeping at the final results.

How about a threesome?

Survived another triathlon today. The fairport Harbor 16th annual. I didn't place, but I did register a personal best time!

That's me there - looking at the camera with the red cap on

As You can see - the water was invigorating and I am so looking forward

to the bike portion of the race

This is the "transistion" area.

I'm getting ready to put on my number and jump on my bike.

Returning on the bike.

Off the bike - now it's time to hit the streets

End of the run!

Proof that some folks really did finish after me.

My dad, me and my son Frank.

Anarchy on the jogging path

Okay – my first triathlon of the season is a week and a half away. I’m feeling pretty good about my preparations this year. That’s one dubious benefit of a slowing economy – it gives one more time for training. Fortunately running and biking around the streets of beautiful Mentor Ohio and swimming in Lake Erie don’t cost anything. Unfortunately, entering races does cost. I was hoping to run at least 4 races this year but budgetary constraints have limited me to three, one in Fairport Harbor on the 27th of July, August 3rd in downtown Cleveland and August 24 in Lorain. I’ve done Fairport and Lorain before it’ll be my first go at the downtown race.

I’ve increased my running distance this year upwards of ten mile stints once a week with shorter runs, biking and swimming mixed in. I’ve decided to concentrate on the running portion this year since it is my weakest leg in the race. (I was also challenged to compete in a 10 mile run by a family member who has since quit training – you know who you are) So with a special emphasis on this part of my training regiment I have come to the conclusion that I am really really slow. I have shaved off a couple minutes from my 5K time – but anyone that knows anything about running knows that if you’re taking minutes off a 5K time – you are moving really really slow.

Anyway, I use an IPod when I run and the music I listen to is the music of my snotty punk youth: Angry Samoans, The Sex Pistols, Social Distortion, The Ramones, Iggy and the Butthole Surfers to name a few. The pace is nice and high and the lyrics are so inspirational, “I guess I’m gonna have to tell’em – that I got no cerebellum…” I lumber down the road (being over 200 lbs I am in the Clydesdale division) pounding my feet into the pavement in time with the boot step march back beating Holiday in the Sun by the pistols.

And I wonder.

How many more middle aged bygone punks out there popping glucosomine, walking on treadmills, figuratively and literally, the music of our youth blaring in our white ear buds extolling us to be anarchist, to smash it up to realize that there is no future? Did David Thomas ever envision forty-somethings jogging to Non-Alignment Pact, was the Dead Boys’ Sonic Transducer meant to accompany a cardio workout? Then we toss our gym bag into the back of the car and drive home to cut the grass.

I don’t think of this transformation as selling out, jeez if it was selling out shouldn’t I have something to show for the effort other than a car payment and shin splints? In fact, I think that maybe this whole triathlon thing is a way for me to stay on the fringes of society without sustaining the rug burns on my forehead received in a mosh pit. Tell people you run triathlons and they look at you a lot like they do the kid with the green Mohawk outside the food court at the mall.

So rather than shaving my head and wearing leather I squeeze into spandex bike shorts which in itself assures that I remain pretty anti-social.

Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear

So far this summer two writing and performance conferences where I was scheduled to present have been cancelled. The drag that gasoline prices have put on the economy added to the general malaise of a financial system bifurcating into hard-lined camps of haves and have-nots is hitting quite a few of the folks I know pretty hard. Add the subprime swindle waltz and the rising food price tango to this dance card and things are looking a bit bleak and unfortunately, I think it’ll be a few more years after this current crop of robber barons blow office before anything gets noticeably better. Not everyone is suffering though and silver lining like a few of the folks benefiting from this are not fat cat oil execs or bankers.

Bill, the owner of Blue Sky Bicycle on E185th Street here on the north coast told us business is booming. He’s selling 9-10 bikes a week and forgetting to close on Wednesdays as advertised. We biked over there yesterday, 26 miles round trip to talk about upgrading the wheels on my bike and to get some tuning done to Sara’s road bike (the latter actually squinted and winced when I brought it out into the sunlight from the garage where it had been hanging like a hibernating fruit bat– the bike not Sara, she has sunglasses.)

Bill’s a good guy – he takes time to talk with ya and he gives just as much attention to the person buying a new bike from him as to the kid whose water bottle bracket has fallen off the bike he bought at Wal-Mart. We discussed some option for new wheels for my road bike (god knows I can’t afford a new bike now) and had some adjustments made to Sara’s making it a bit more comfortable for her so maybe this one’ll get as much attention as her market bike now.

Speaking of attention.

It is amazing how stupid people driving cars can act when they encounter a bicyclist. Like some schoolyard bully held back three grades so they are bigger than everyone else on the playground - these Neanderthals wrapped in steel and glass act as if it is a personal affront that they have to share the road. So here are my top 5 examples of motorists acting like morons when coming upon a bicyclist:

1) Hooting, shouting, honking their horn in order to scare the feces out of the rider. What’s the point? You were able to frighten a person on a twenty five pound bicycle by making a loud noise from your two ton rolling pollution machine. Why not make a surprise appearance at a day care center dressed as a zombie?

2) Tailing a rider refusing to pass even though you have had a dozen opportunities. This one pisses me off big time. When being passed by a car I will hug the side of the road, muscles tense waiting waiting waiting - for the automobile to overtake me. I am existing in a proverbial second shoe to drop moment of suspense. Prolonging the passing just allows more time for something to go wrong – as soon as it’s safe, go around idiot.

3) And when you pass – give a little room. A foot or two will do – you don’t have to get all the way over in the other lane, that’s a bit insulting – like you expect me to topple over and slide with the speed of an air hockey puck in front of you. Even so, I guess taking the overly exaggerated swerve to avoid me is better than clipping me with your passenger side door mirror “Miss Sears Driving School Student Driver”. Likewise – if you pass a cyclist and are making a right hand turn – check that the cyclist is not right behind you. I’ve been run off the road a half dozen times by folks making right hand turns. I guess I could suggest that people use their turn signals then again I could also suggest that bush babies fly out my butt.

4) Any good cyclist will obey traffic signals (most of the time). I stop at traffic signals and can make rights on red too so leave a bit of room over there when you come to a stoplight when I am coming up behind you. I’ve seen many drivers pull as far over to the right as they can at traffic lights in order to keep that damn spandex wearing monkey from pulling even with them instead of taking his rightful position stuck directly behind a noxious exhaust pipe. I think you’re gonna beat me off the line Earnhardt, lighten up a bit. You may not know it but a lot of us riders out here are wearing shoes that actually attach to the pedals with spring loaded latches – this makes it a bit of a process for me to free my feet. That sudden swerve you just made to keep me from pulling up beside you could very well send me into a ditch.

5) Finally, relax. Share the road a bit. The thirty seconds added to your trip because of me out on my bike isn’t gonna make any difference. Hell the fact that I’m going to the store on my bike is having a positive effect supply and demand wise on the gas you’re pouring into your Hummer. Like Jackie Gleason said in The Hustler – “You owe me money!”

If the pickup in business over at Bill’s bike shop there on 185th is any indication – chances are you are going to be seeing a few more bikes on the road these coming months. Subsequently, a lot of these riders are going to be new – give ‘em a chance willya?

Oh yeah, don’t be surprised when, after she shouts from your open window trying to scare me as you pass, I catch up with you at the next light and squirt the rest of the contents of my sticky sports drink filled bottle all over your black lipsticked Goth wanna-be tart in the passenger seat of your Kia Rio.